Feeling beyond UNmotivated….It is HEARTBREAKING to finally realize that NOBODY believes in you, not one single person except other than your cats maybe!! I have never felt so unappreciated in my life. so fuck it..FUCK it ALL!!! I am tired of pushing myself to have no gain other than to make people happy or to save their butts while underachievers get the recognition and respect that I have worked so hard to earn!! I’m DONE, my efforts aren’t recognized even though I KNOW they are seen! I could say the cliche “this isn’t fair” (which is not) but unfortunately life is not fair my friends and for now I just have to go with the flow, suck it up and keep on moving.I haven’t felt like this in a REALLY long time, maybe since I was a teen.
I have ALWAYS strived to be the best I can be and I can honestly say I have NEVER disappointed anyone! When it comes to anything work related “laziness” is not a word in my vocabulary. I have given all of ME to everything I do and I REFUSE to do anything that I will not give 110% to.
That being said, I decided today to try my best to “not care” at least as much as a person like myself could “not care” , which even then I will still care more then the average person and still do above average lol.
and LASTLY, the best thing that came out of this situation is my realization of how PROUD of myself I am for the character I have built, the person I am and most importantly for my WORK ETHIC, though nobody else appreciates it, I DO and i don’t fucking need to hear that from anyone else!! and when this rough patch is over and I give myself the time to feel sad and cry as anyone in my place would I WILL come out even stronger than before.
Thank you guys for letting me vent. It is very much appreciated.